Girl Talk! |
"What if I fall? |
Hey my loves,
I hope you're all doing absolutely amazing. This week's blog is going to be very different than my last one. I'm not going to focus on a "topic", if that makes any sense. I'm just going to talk about something that's been weighing on my heart. So, just to be extremely transparent here: this week has been SO hard. I felt more down/depressed this week than I have in a very long time. Before we dive completely in, I just want all of you to know that this is not me begging for sympathy or anything like that. We all struggle. We all have our days. I don't expect you guys to treat me any differently because I had a "tough" week. I just wanted to open up and share that with you all so that it helps you to understand the concept of this blog more. I know that if my week was rough, the devil was having a field day trying to make some of your lives miserable as well. I just want all of you who may be struggling with SOMETHING, anything . . . To know that God has got your back, and if you are in Christ, he's already won the battle you're fighting- AND ALL OF THE OTHER BATTLES YOU WILL EVER FACE. I'm not sure what you're up against, but I ask that you just take a step back, and remove your hands from the situation. When we are driving the car called "our life", God can't control what's going on. He's not going to just snatch the wheel from you while you're going 90-to nothing- in traffic during rush hour. That's not the way God works. I know it's easy to just tell someone to give their problems to God but man it's a hard task to follow through with. I know because I've been there, as a matter of fact, I'm there right now. Struggling to give God control of my life- not because he can't handle it, but because I'm scared to let go of my life. I'm scared to abandon my plans, and my route, and my way even though I know my way isn't God's perfect way. To be honest, it would be so much easier to just quit. To just walk away and throw my hands up and go back to my old life, but I can't. I can't because there is an assignment on my life to help some of you see Jesus. There's a quote that says "You may be the only bible some people ever read", and I truly believe that. I believe that as small as we (think) our call/assignments are, US not being WHO God has called us to be affects so many people . . . so many families. . . so many generations of people. So, I'm not here to beg for sympathy or to complain about how difficult my life is right now because I know that we are all up against something. I'm just here, begging you to stop running away from God. Stop thinking that you're in this alone. Stop telling yourself that you're not good enough, or that you can't handle it, or that you don't deserve it. Stop doubting yourself. Stop doubting your process. Don't you know that if you're facing hell on this earth, it's because the devil knows that there's a heaven waiting for you as long as you keep saying yes to God and no to him. You aren't on his hit list because he's bored and he doesn't have anyone else to mess with, NO! YOU'RE ON HIS HIT LIST BECAUSE DESPITE EVERYTHING THAT YOU'VE DONE, AND THAT YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH, YOU'RE STILL ANOINTED AND GOD STILL HAS A PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE. So it's time for you to break out of whatever cage you've placed yourself in and start walking in everything that God has planned for you. If any of you want to talk, I'm here! I promise I won't bite. I know what it's like not to have anyone to talk to, and be in the midst of a storm so please don't be afraid to reach out to me if you need to. Thanks to each and every one of you for reading my blog(s), I'm so grateful. I'm praying for all of you this week. I love you bunches, and God loves you a million times more. God bless you! Xoxo, Aaliyah
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Hello, ladies and gents!
I hope all of you are doing absolutely amazing today. First, I just want to thank you all for sticking with me throughout this journey by continuing to read my blogs. I am so grateful!! Okay, so let's get into it. Today's blog is going to be all about being selfish. Yes, I know it sounds crazy, but just bare with me. Also, this blog is going to be a lot less "formal" than all of my other ones, so be prepared. Alright, I'm done rambling- let's get into it. If you guys know me personally, you know I am the girl of a thousand chances (literally). What's even more funny, however, is that I'm the girl of a thousand chances with all the WRONG PEOPLE, haha! Let me explain. So, I'm not going to lie and say I'm this "super forgiving, anything goes with me" kind of girl because that is total crap. No! I can hold a major grudge, but more often than not, I always find myself in these relationships/friendships with people who don't deserve to be connected to me in any way and I always end up going in circles with them because I don't know when to cut the relationship off. I have such a hard time letting go of stuff that isn't good for me. That has got to be a major stronghold or something because man I seriously struggle with it. I mean am I the only person who does this?! Like, I will totally sabotage a good relationship with someone but I will fight SO HARD for a trash relationship and then spend multiple days/weeks mourning the loss of it when it finally ends. That seriously makes no sense, but hey, it's my life so don't judge me. I guess the main point here is this: it is perfectly okay to be selfish with YOU. I think it's funny how we can be selfish about materialistic things, but we find it so difficult to truly be protective of ourselves. We give our time, and energy, and hearts, and even our bodies away so freely to people, but we are so cautious about lending people money and sharing clothes and letting people drive our cars. I mean, that doesn't even add up! Do we really not value ourselves more than we value all of these wordly, man-made things? Think about it- you can go out and replace cars, and clothes, and jewelry, etc., but you can't go out and purchase another YOU. Once you give enough of yourself away to people who don't deserve/cherish you, you start coming up empty, and it takes a whole lot of fixing to fix you (that only God can do), so I'm here to defy everything that society tells you by saying: it's okay to be selfish with YOU! It's okay to be selfish with your time, and your energy, and your heart. It's also okay to walk away from things that are poisonous to you. Not everything grows you and feeds you; some things drain you, distract you, eat at you and ultimately destroy you. It's time for you to stop choosing everyone else all the time, and it's time to start choosing YOU because YOU, my dear, deserve to be chosen. I pray that all of you who are dealing with anything similar to this are just free from it in the name of Jesus. I know how hard it can be to walk away from bad situations/relationships/friendships and for me, I never have the strength to do it on my own- it always comes from God and the power of his holy spirit, so I just encourage you to cry out to him and ask for guidance and direction on where to go and what to do. Also, I'm going to go ahead and give you the heads up: when you make a decision to start being selective with who you allow to have a front row seat in your life, the devil gets busy. Your past will always try to resurface and pull you back in BUT DON'T GO BACK. People from your past will pop back up and claim to have changed, etc. But don't be fooled- 9/10 they are still the same person they were when you decided to close that door in the first place. Don't feed into their games because you will regret it in the end. Trust me, I've been there many, many times so just take my word for it and keep moving forward. Alright, my loves! That's all for this week's blog. I hope you enjoyed and were blessed by my rambling. Have an amazing week- I love you all. God bless! Xoxo, Aaliyah Hello Queens,
I hope you're all doing amazing. I'm so excited about tonight's blog because it's something that I have struggled with for so so so so so long, and I really feel like God has just been pruning me, and it's been such a tedious, uncomfortable process, but I know he's going to use it for his glory so I'm forever grateful. Alright, let's dive in. Tonight’s blog is going to be all about the blessing in separation. I wrote a blog pertaining to separation at the very beginning of the year, but this one is going to be a little different, however, I definitely encourage you to read it if you haven't already! Okay, okay- enough rambling Aaliyah. So, as I said before, the topic of this blog is separation. More specifically- separation from toxic relationships. Okay, let's have a transparent moment: How many of you have ever stayed in an unhealthy relationship even though you KNEW it was toxic/bad for you? *Raises hand* Okay, I know y'all are perfect and whatnot, but me, I'm a hot mess and this has been the story of my life since . . . I don't know? age 2! haha. No, seriously though. I don't know what it is but I would always find myself trying to hold on to this certain relationship for dear life even though I knew that it was no good for me. I mean, the relationship didn't resemble God in any way- as a matter of fact, God instructed me to leave that relationship many, many times but I would always refuse. I didn't want to let go. The relationship caused me so much pain, and heartache, but I still wanted it- I didn't care how much it hurt to keep hanging on, I didn't care about anything! I just knew that I WANTED IT and I was determined/willing to do anything to keep it and make it work. I believe that as women, we naturally go hard for people we love- EVEN when those people are the wrong people for US. So, we love hard when it's right, and we love even harder when it's wrong. We don't give up without a fight, and unfortunately, sometimes that’s more of a curse than a blessing. I know for me personally, I just wanted someone to stay. I wanted to know that no matter how bad things got, they wouldn't just walk out on me. That comes from my own personal abandonment issues and instead of giving that void to God for HIM to fill, I placed that weight in the hands of a person who had no intention of truly sustaining it because it simply wasn't their battle to fight. So, as I have begun to evaluate and analyze myself, I've realized that although the person was toxic for me, and the relationship was toxic to me, that because of MY inability to see my OWN worth, I allowed someone to have a front row seat in my life who didn't deserve it and who, sometimes didn't even want it, all because I didn't want to take the risk of being uncomfortable for a season to see if maybe, just maybe, I actually deserved better. I valued the presence of a person in my life more than I valued myself and way more than I valued God, so I allowed someone to treat me however they felt like treating me at the time instead of: a) listening to God and running 212 MPH away from that relationship and b) demanding that I be treated like a queen. Here's the thing: I'm not saying that holding on to toxic relationships are because of one set reason. No, sometimes it's because of fear. Fear of being alone, or because of daddy issues or mommy issues or validation issues or security issues, etc. The list goes on and on. My point however, is that being pulled out of these relationships are a blessing- a true demonstration of God's grace, and mercy, and his commitment to us. I know at the time, it feels like a death- literally, but there's something so great on the other side of that temporary pain. Sometimes, God does the job for us and completely just pulls us away, but sometimes that's not how it works. More often than not, by the time we realize that it's time to walk away, God has already shown us so many signs that we have failed to pay attention to. Because of that, I am a firm believer that when somebody is wrong for you OR doesn't belong in your life, that's not something you need to necessarily pray about. If God said he wasn't any good in September, chances are, he still isn't any good in January. I am in no way saying we shouldn't pray about things- I'm simply saying God doesn't just randomly change his mind so stop using “prayer” as an excuse to wait a little longer. It's time for you to take that step, sis! I don't know who this blog is for but I just want you to know that I understand you. I understand where you are and where you've been and how hard it is to pull away, but you have to. You have to stop choosing everybody else and you have to start choosing God first and foremost, but secondly, you have to CHOOSE YOU. You have to be selective with who you allow to have a front row seat in your life- not many people deserve a spot. I also want you to know that the pain you feel won't last forever. You're going to wake up one day and thank yourself for being brave enough to walk away from what was causing you so much pain. I believe that when you see that nothing good is coming out of a relationship anymore, it's time to walk away. Sometimes people just take and take and take as much of us as we will give away, but they refuse to give us anything back. So, with that being said, Sis, if this sounds like a situation that you're in, I just encourage you to go to God in prayer and ask him for strength, and guidance, and courage to take that next step. It won't be easy, and you'll have days when you want to go back to your vomit (bad relationship), but don't. Just remember how much the relationship hurt you, and how painful it was to hold on to it for as long as you did. Whatever you do, don't give up. Keep your eyes fixated on Jesus. I love you guys so much. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to reach out to me. God bless you. -Xoxo, Aaliyah Hey beautiful ladies,
First, let me just say that I am SO happy to be writing right now. Blogging brings so much joy to my heart because I seriously feel like I’m sitting in a room with thousands of amazing women just talking. . . about all of the crazy things that we face on a day to day basis. So, If you haven’t noticed already, I’m starting a new “segment” on my blog (If that’s what you want to call it), and it’s going to be strictly girl talk blogs. So, in other words, it’s going to be about all things girl related. It is my goal to publish a “girl talk” blog every single week for you so I’m going to need help with ideas. Alright, now that I’ve gotten all of that out- let’s chat. :) So, how many of you have dated or are currently dating a guy who is . . . hmm, a work in progress? Now, when I say “work in progress”, I mean in terms of salvation first and foremost. Maybe he’s a great guy, but he doesn’t have a relationship with Jesus Christ? Well, I’ll be the first to admit that this has been the story of my entire relationship life since like. . . forever! To be honest, I don’t think I have ever DATED a guy that was genuinely saved, and pursued God above a relationship with me. I’ve always had bits and pieces of great guys, but there was always something missing-JESUS. Before I dive completely into this, let me just say this: I am in no way saying that we as women are perfect, and that we are just all patiently waiting for guys to get themselves together because that’s not the case- even on my best day, I still need God so desperately because I am a hot mess, Okay? Okay! Haha. But what I am saying is that I’ve done a whole lot of missionary dating. For those of you who are unaware of the term, let me bless you! Missionary dating: The act of a person of one religious faith, commonly Christianity, dating a person with differing beliefs for the purpose of changing that person’s beliefs or religion. In other words, missionary dating is what about 99.9% of all women have done at some point in their life- dated someone with the expectation that they could make them or “influence” them to change. For me personally, this is the story of my life summed up in a few sentences. I’ve always been a fixer upper, unintentionally of course. I think it has a lot to do with my childhood, but that’s another story. Anyways, I’ve always wanted to FIX people- GUYS ESPECIALLY. I felt like if I would just stay long enough, or pray hard enough, or be loyal enough, or “ride-or-die” enough, then they would see that I loved them, and as a result, suddenly change. I thought that because I was “saved” back then, or play-play saved (TBH), that I could just shape them into this wonderful man of God and we would live happily ever after- Plot twist: that mess didn’t work. I prayed and prayed until I was out of breath for some of the guys that I dated, and it didn’t make the slightest bit of difference. See, the thing is, it’s not because God didn’t want to answer my prayers- It’s because 1) my motives were impure, and 2) those guys had absolutely no desire to change. My uncle taught me something very profound a few weeks ago: He said “God will never honor your prayers above the WILL of the person that you’re praying for!”. Wait. . . I’m just going to pause and let y’all read that one more time! I was completely wrecked when I heard him say that. It was like a divine revelation for me because I realized that the only thing I had been doing was wasting my time praying for something that wasn’t going to happen because of the fact that the person I was praying for wasn’t going to change until THEY were ready. It didn’t matter how much I wanted it- they didn’t want it for themselves. My point here is this, sis: Don’t waste your time trying to fix a guy who doesn’t want to be fixed. That’s not your job. You didn’t die on the cross for his sins- You don’t have the power to save him- but Jesus does. Am I saying praying for someone is wrong? Absolutely not, however, what I am saying is this: If you’re going to pray for someone- let those prayers be sincere and understand that God hears your prayers BUT if the person you are praying for doesn’t have any desire to change or to know God for themselves, then it’s not going to happen just because YOU want it to. Don’t ask God to change someone just so they fit perfectly into your little puzzle. That’s my testimony. I can’t tell you how many nights I’ve spent on my knees praying for a man that doesn’t even want to change. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gathered strength to pray for him when I didn’t even have that same strength to pray for myself. So take it from me, quit missionary dating- It doesn’t work. Chances are, they won’t ever change- at least not when and how you want them to, so just let it go. You are worth so much more that that, and chances are, the guy you’re praying for doesn’t deserve to have you anyways! I tell all my friends the same thing: If you are with a guy and you know deep down inside that he isn’t truly the one for you, LET HIM GO. It’s okay for him not to be the one, because that only means that God has someone even greater for you, but he’s never going to bless you with what/who he WANTS you to have if you keep holding on to that person that you know deep down isn’t the person God has for you. So, I invite all of you on this journey with me, of learning to just love yourself enough to admit when someone isn’t good for you and also, learning to love yourself more than you love the idea of being with someone else. I hope this blog blessed your life- share it with all of your friends, feel free to ask any questions that you may have- have a blessed week! I love you, and God loves you more, Xoxo, Aaliyah. |
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